What I think when I see comic book covers...

Now you can tell me aquaman is lame, but I think he's badass. You have to be a badass to take on something like that. Because seriously, what the fuck is that?

What I think when I see comic book covers...

I'm gonna be honest with you folks. If that were me, I'd shit my pants.

The Re-Animator Trilogy

Staring: Jeffrey Combs,Bruce Abbott,Barbara Crampton,David Gale, and Robert Sampson

Directed by
Stuart Gordon

IMDB Plot Outline: A dedicated student at a medical college and his girlfriend become involved in bizarre experiments centering around the re-animation of dead tissue when an odd new student arrives on campus.

The first film is a lovely piece of work. I'm not sure of the Lovecraft story it was based off of but I'll assume there was quite a bit of artistic license taken. Dr. Herbert West is a weird little man but you can't help but like him on some level. His partner is a bit of a bore but I think he was really only there as a reason for the girl in the movie to get naked. The decapitated head. What a lovely villain. I could talk about the oral sex scene but I'm sure that's been done to death. I will say that this was a fun movie despite the tremendous amount of zombie wang.




Staring: Jeffrey Combs,Bruce Abbott,Claude Earl Jones,Fabiana Udenio, and David Gale.

Directed by
Brian Yuzna

IMDB Plot Outline: Doctors Herbert West and Dan Cain discover the secret to creating human life and proceed to create a perfect woman from dead tissue.

This was barely a film but rather a collection of funny and weird scenes. Rent this movie if only for the many experiments leg hand, the eye fingers. And other disgusting oddities. The two main doctors come back in this film as does the decapitated head of Dr. hill. The head gets bat wings. This is absolutely lovely. I can't tell you how terrified I'd be if a human head was flying towards me. But despite the bad parts (which were many) I still liked the movie.



Staring: Jeffrey Combs,Jason Barry,Elsa Pataky, and Simón Andreu.

Directed by
Brian Yuzna

IMDB Plot Summary:Everyone's favorite mad scientist Herbert West is currently in jail after having state's evidence turned against him by his former assistant, Dan Cain. While being led away, some re-agent falls from his pocket where it is picked up by a young man that was camping nearby. The young man find Herbert down in his jail cell and learns for himself just what the re-agent is capable of.

This was a nice try but it didn't really hit the mark. In some ways it's a better sequel than bride of re-animator and in other ways it's much worse. A flying head with bat wings I can handle. I don't like cocks that are bitten off the body and then starts fighting rats. But that didn't weigh that hard against this movie. It was mostly the acting. And this film was made in Spain, it really was terribly dubbed. There were parts where you could tell it was a particular actors actual voice and then when it went to voice over because the english was hard to understand. The film takes place in prison and that's nice and fine. But there were so many times I just slapped my hands against my head and wondered why I was watching it. But I have seen worse. Only rent this one if you are a re-animator junkie. And if you want to see the worst music video you'll probably ever see.

Merry Christmas!

Some random thoughts and opinions

I'm search result number 93 in a yahoo search for werewolf. What the hell, I'll take what I can get.

I bought the newest issue of Wizard for the info on the all-star Superman deal. Not only did the cover ink come off on my hands, I was reminded why I stopped buying that book in the first place. It just reminds me of a political magazine that claims to be impartial but so obviously chooses one side over the other. In this election, I choose the side that has Chubby Da Choona on the ballot.

I will change my name to Kirk Hercules become a world renown body builder who will punch any man in the face that is six inches shorter then me and then buy him a six-pack of Heineken.

I seriously need to stop reading US and people magazines while I'm taking a shower.

I fucking hate cigarettes but God damn do I love them.

You'd have to pay me to see this movie. And after watching the trailer for The Amityville Horror remake, and then looking on imdb, one question has come to my brain. Does this world need Michael Bay?

I seriously want a filet minion from this place called "Jocko's" about 30 minutes outside of Solvang. The place is a dive and filled with rednecks but it has the finest food I have ever eaten, the steak was so good that I forgot about the potato, and it fucking takes a lot to make an Irish man forget about a potato.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

How about HE'S A FUCKING DOG! Sometimes dogs go ape shit when they see a 20 foot tall whatever the fuck that is.

Vampires, little monsters, and breasts.

Staring: Anders Hove,Irina Movila,Michael Watson,Laura Tate,Michelle McBride, and Angus Scrimm.

Directed by
Ted Nicolaou

IMDB Plot Summary for
Subspecies
The evil vampire villain Radu returns to his hometown of Prejnar, after spending years in exile. He steals the precious blood stone which is said to be bleeding from all saints, from his father and kills him. Meanwhile two American schoolgirls teams up with a local girl for a work on Roumanian culture. Radu becomes attracted to them but runs into trouble when his brother Stephan helps the girls.


I dug this film. I liked it even more because it had Angus Scrimm aka the tall man from phantasm wearing a terrible wig and sucking blood from a stone. And Radu the vampire sure has some drooling problems. But I liked the idea of magic and patriarchy in the vampire world. Plus breaking your fingers off and creating ghouls from it is pretty neat as well. It was obvious they didn't have the biggest budget for the film but I think they did well with what they had. I'll most likely watch the sequels of this film, but I have doubts if they'll be any good. They went to four and it looks like by then they had the production quality of a sci-fi channel original movie made in 1997. But I'll say the first film is decent, and I'd recommend it if you are on a vampire kick.

Mutant Aqua Creatures.

Staring:Peter Weller,Richard Crenna,Amanda Pays,Daniel Stern,Hector Elizondo, and Ernie Hudson.

Directed by
George P. Cosmatos.

IMDB Plot Summary: Underwater deep-sea miners encounter a Soviet wreck and bring back a dangerous cargo to their base on the ocean floor with horrifying results.

This is John Carpenter's The Thing, but under water. It's not as good as that film but has a higher star caliber cast. Peter Weller, I cannot get enough of this man, he's Robocop, and he's buckaroo banzai. So I'll like pretty much every movie he does, this was no exception. Richard Crenna, Daniel Stern, Hector Elizondo, and Ernie Hudson are also in the movie. I have the feeling that this movie was a group of executives saying, “why don't we make the thing, underwater, with a bigger budget, bigger stars, and give it a Hollywood ending?” Now, I don't think I'm judging the movie too harshly because I did enjoy it, how do you not enjoy Robocop and Winston of Ghostbusters. using chainsaws and flame-throwers against a mutant beast under the sea. If you want to see that, and you should want to see that, then rent this movie, but if you want to see a high quality version of this type of film, just watch The Thing again.

Don't mind this post, this is my attempt to become the number one google search for Werewolf.

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if you see this to rent, hide it. the life you might be saving could be your own.

Staring:Bonny Giroux,C.S. Munro,Maratama Carlson, Peter Ruginis, and
Brinke Stevens

Directed by
Vince D'Amato

Tagline: The battle between the living dead and the undead has begun!

Seriously, fuck this movie. Even nudity and gore couldn't save this piece of shit. The only good part was an old man called the general chopping off the head of a very sub par beauty queen and making a weird scream as he does it. There are barely any vampires vs. zombie scenes in the movie. I'm not even sure what characters were vampires most of the time. And in a fucking movie called vampires vs. zombies, I should fucking know. I want the time I spent watching that movie given back to me. Even if I spent the time with painful explosive diarrhea it would be better than watching that film. I can't talk about this. I still feel too violated.

The Cover of Green Lantern Rebirth # 6

Finally... All the fans will be happy! Wait a second, I forgot what group I was talking about. Nevermind.

and for a little change of pace, here's a pitcutre of Ozzy Osbourne

What I think when I see comic book covers...

This is my kinda Batman. "Fuck all that detective stuff, Robin. Let's go fight a dragon!"

I just don't know

Staring: Felix Ward,Maria Pechukas,Dan Scott and A.J. Lowenthal

Directed by
Eugenie Joseph
Thomas Doran (footage from unfinished film "Twisted Souls")
Brendan Faulkner (footage from unfinished film "Twisted Souls")


IMDB Plot Summary:Taking a wrong turn, travelers find themselves trapped in a mysterious house. One horror after another threatens them as the sorcerer who lives within needs sacrifices to give eternal life to his beautiful bride.

Also Known As:
Twisted Souls (USA) (working title)


Oh boy, I should have known, three directors is a sure fire way of telling a movie is bad. And this film is a paradox if I've ever seen one. It has some of the most unique and interesting things I've seen in a film but it's packaged in the most boring piece of shit. You get, farting zombies, Asian women that turn into spiders, lizard monkey type things,an old wizard teaching his son the dark arts, and the one that got me the most a meowing cat boy with a hook for a hand. All of these things and I still fell asleep in the middle of it. How does such a thing happen? How do you show me things that by all rights should make me love a film, instead I can't keep my eyes open. I can only assume the creators tapped into that hidden formula that should never have been created. All I know is that while I will remember the things I saw in this movie for a long time, but I couldn't get the tape out of the VCR fast enough.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Quite possibly my favorite comic book cover ever. I mean, how do you beat a massive gila monster with a gun and eye beams? you just can't.

"Let us go eat some Yankee brains!"

The Curse Of The Screaming Dead

Staring:Steve Sandkuhler,Christopher Gummer,Rebecca Bach, and Mimi Ishikawa

Directed by
Tony Malanowski

Also Known As:
Curse of the Cannibal Confederates
Curse of the Confederate Cannibals


IMDB Plot Outline: A group of Southern deer hunters stop at a church graveyard in the woods. Their activities arouse the corpses of long-dead Confederate soldiers, who attack them

I love zombie movies. This was a zombie movie, and I did not like it. This was a film made in 1982 yet it looks like it was filmed in 1971. The acting is God awful. The special effects are terrible there is no interest in the characters even in seeing them get killed. the one thing I'll say, there are two Asian redneck sisters, one is blind and one is a total bitch and i mean total. she hates like and everyone around her even her sister. and of course the blind one dies and the total bitch survives. even with this dynamic bitchy and blind Asian rednecks I still started to fall asleep during it. There was only one good thing about this movie, and that's a zombie confederate general commanding his undead troops. Now since you have to wait about an hour to even see this flesh eating rebel, Id recommend renting this only for die hard zombie fans or people who have an easily available supply of coffee.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Apparently when you take a panda out of it's natural environment it starts to turn into a demon. It has human eyes. that terrifies me.

A whole lot of wax

Waxwork

Staring: Zach Galligan , Deborah Foreman ,Patrick Macnee, John Rhys-Davies, Miles O'Keeffe and David Warner.

Written & Directed by Anthony Hickox.

IMDB Plot Outline: A wax museum owner uses his horror exhibits to unleash evil on the world.

Zach Galligan of gremlins fame stars in these two films. The first waxwork starts off with Zach's character being berated by his mother for talking to their butler. I think this was put in the film so we could all relate to the character. I know my mother just hated when I fraternized with the help. We get some standard 80's horror movie bits but David Warner opening the waxwork that leads the cast into some neat little homage's of horror film history; by stepping past the velvet rope in front of an exhibit you enter that particular world of wax. You get your werewolves, zombies, vampires, mummies, and of course who can think of those and not expect to see The Marquis de Sade right along with them. This film has some nice moments, but for me the highlight of the film is at the end, where a group of elderly people come to stop these wax monsters from destroying the world. If you have an old man sword fighting with a werewolf, I will love the movie. I think for the final battle scene alone, this movie is worth the couple bucks for the rental.

Waxwork II: Lost in Time

Staring: Zach Galligan ,Monika Schnarre, Bruce Campbell,Alexander Godunov,Michael Des Barres,Marina Sirtis, Patrick Macnee, and David Carradine.

Written & Directed by Anthony Hickox.

IMDB Plot Outline: In this sequel, a couple must use a portal through time to defeat evil.


Then we come to waxwork II, it picks up right where the first movie ends and this time, instead of entering the waxwork, it's just a special necklace that allows the characters to hop into different worlds, now I learned something from this movie, I learned that if Sam Raimi ever stopped walking suddenly that this director's nose would go right up is ass. This movie tries to be evil dead but fails completely; it just makes me sad that Bruce Campbell actually made a small appearance in this film. While not the worst film I've ever seen, I will say it might be the dumbest. I seriously can't think of a reason for anyone to rent this unless they get the two movies on one disc like I did. Even then, only watch it if you have two hours to waste.

.....i can still see it when i close my eyes.

Staring: Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak,Tom 'Tiny' Lister Jr., Udo Kier, and Coolio.

Written & Directed by
Darrell Roodt

IMDB Plot Outline: Count Dracula terrorizes the crew of a spaceship.


This might be the worst movie I've ever seen. If there is a movie that I have seen that's worse than this, than I must have erased it from my memory, for the sake of my own sanity. The whole time I had my fists clenched. This fucking movie....... you know, there is nothing that I can say that can properly describe how awful this movie really is. Never watch this film. EVER. i can only paraphrase James Downey from the movie Billy Madison -

Dracula 3000 is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in it's rambling, incoherent plot was it even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone who has seen this film is now dumber for having watched it. I recommend this film to no one, and to those in the cast and crew, may God have mercy on your souls.

Quite possibly the greatest thing ever put on film.

Zombie Vs. Shark

What I think when I see comic book covers...

I like that we get to see into gorilla culture, apparently if you lose an eye and have a flair for cooking, you are involved with witchcraft.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

It's ok honey, you're a big girl now, it's time you learned about something called Menstruation.

A touching story of a girl and her zombie nazi father.

Staring : Howard Vernon, Pierre-Marie Escourrou, and Anouchka.

Directed by
Jean Rollin

IMDB Plot Summary: In a small village, somewhere in France, dead German soldiers, killed and thrown into the lake by the Resistance during WW II, come back.

This movie hurt me. But I was entertained by it. I think there were only two selling points for which this movie got financed. Vagina and Nazi zombies. This is a German film that has more bushes in the first 20 minutes then all of Fahrenheit 9/11. Zombies come back to life to kill village woman because the villagers murdered them during the World War II. There are many reasons to rent this dvd, first of all being the touching story of love between one of the nazi zombies and his daughter, he loves her so much that he's willing to fight the other zombies to protect her, and I dare you to tell me that you don't want to see a nazi zombie knife fight. A feature on the dvd are alternate "clothed" scenes, which I can assume were only filmed so that the movie could be shown in America. Personally, I think more films should have this option. Who wouldn't like an About Schmidt dvd with a clothed Kathy Bates scene or for the horror fans, a copy of The Burning where you don't see Fisher Stevens' and Jason Alexander's assholes. Maybe one of these days. but zombie lake is not a good movie, not by a long shot. The acting is so bad that I almost thought it was done that way on purpose, but it wasn't, it makes Keanu Reeves look like Laurence Olivier in comparison. The dubbing was done by three 16 year old boys and one girl in a basement, I'm sure of this. Even though it had all this going against it, it was still a entertaining movie. Or maybe I'm easily pleased. Who knows?

Freaks and models are ways to get me to like a movie.

Staring: Cristina Raines, Chris Sarandon, Burgess Meredith, Eli Wallach, Jerry Orbach, Beverly D'Angelo, Jeff Goldblum, and Christopher Walken.

Directed by
Michael Winner


IMDB Plot Summary: A fashion model moves into a house inhabited (on the top floor) by a blind priest. She begins having strange physical problems, has trouble sleeping at night, and has some nasty flashbacks of her attempted suicide. She complains to the real estate agent of the noise caused by her strange neighbors, but finds out that the house is only occupied by the priest and herself, and ultimately discovers that she has been put in the house for a reason.


This is a weird movie. Cristina Raines is a young model in New York, who wants to live in a different apartment from her boyfriend Chris Sarandon and have some space but still be together. the first thing that struck me about this movie was the scene where this girl after her father's funeral she has a flash back to her suicide attempt caused by walking in on her elderly father in the middle of an orgy with fat women shoving cake into his wrinkled mouth. This made me think, "Hmm. this is twisted. i will enjoy this." as the girl is moving into her apartment she's told about the blind priest that lives on the top floor. she's getting settled when she meets Burgess Meredith he's a kind old man who always walks around with a canary on his shoulder and a cat in his hands. it was lovely. she later introduces herself to Beverly D'Angelo and her older female room mate, it becomes pretty obvious that Ms. D'Angelo and her room mate are lesbians, because she starts to masturbate in front of our leading lady. because as we know all lesbians can't stop masturbating in public. Later Burgess Meredith throws a party for his cat inviting everyone in the building is there except for the old blind priest. later that night she's woken up by what sounds like Andre the giant tap dancing on the floor above her, she talks to her super and the super tells her that the only person living in that apartment building is her and the old priest. Meanwhile there's a whole different story with Chris Sarandon Eli Wallach, Christopher Walken. Chris Sarandon was investigated after his wife committed suicide and Eli Waallach and Christopher Walken are not about to let him do it again. So Cristina Raines is randomly going unconscious and fell onto a window at her filming of a commercial. Jerry Orbach plays a pissy director and I’m sure the two scenes with Jeff Goldblum his voice was over dubbed. So she goes home after the accident on the set and hears the loud noises again and she goes up stairs in her nightie and with a knife and ends up cutting up her dead father with a knife. which is quite fantastic. Chris Sarandon is searching all over to find out what's happening to his girlfriend, he ends up breaking into a church to find the secret of the priest that lives up on the top floor. It seems that a group of people for hundreds of years, attempt suicide only to disappear and secretly change their names and become part of the clergy. This leads him to break in the old priests room and discover that the building is a gateway to hell, and that Cristina Raines is the next in line to guard it. Things start going to crazy as Burgess Meredith walks out with a legion of freaks. Some with make up some naturally deformed. And I'm telling you TV's penguin is the perfect Satan. It also has a naked Beverly D'Angelo eating the corpse of Chris Sarandon. then the ceremony is done and Cristina Raines has taken the old priests place and all is well.

The first place i heard of this film was it being mentioned by the Corey Feldman character in the burbs. There are some scenes that were truly disturbing, if you can find this movie rent it.

A Lovely British Horror Film

Staring: Jamie Bell, Ruaidhri Conroy, Laurence Fox, and Andy Serkis


Written and Directed by
Michael J. Bassett

IMDB Plot Summary:In the middle of World War I, nine British soldiers caught behind enemy lines seek refuge in a complex network of German trenches. What they soon discover is that they aren't alone...and it isn't a German soldier that's hunting them down


I saw this film at my local blockbuster, and i didn't have to much hope in it being that great. Even though Clive Barker said it was a good and creative film. I didn't want to get my hopes up, the last time I listened to a horror director that i respect on a cover of a movie box, it was Tobe Hooper and that movie was house of 1000 corpses. And that film was god awful. Well, much to my surprise, this film was wonderful. Clive did not steer me wrong. It has Jamie Bell from "Billy Elliot." as a terrified sixteen year old soldier who lied about his age to get into the army. it also stars Andy Serkis who is best known as the voice of Gollum from the lord of the rings films, as a insane soldier who wears furs and uses clubs against his enemies. Both actors give fine performances.There are certain scenes in the film which made me understand why Clive liked this film so much, if you're a fan of his work like I am, you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it. this movie actually had some creepy moments , and I thought that wasn't possible since I've become so jaded with horror. it a nice change of pace from the slasher formula of " tits-blood-tits-shitty rock song-tits and more blood-" don't get me wrong, I love that type of stuff, but once in a while it's good to cleanse the pallet with something of quality. This movie is that pallet cleanser. I highly recommend it.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Beware the silver duck dj's from mars!

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Thataway to salvation!

when you find a laser gun in a desert, don't pick it up.

Staring: Kim Milford,Cheryl Smith, Keenan Deezen, and Roddy McDowall.

Directed by
Michael Rae

IMDB Plot Outline: A teenager stumbles upon an alien weapon, which transform him into a grotesque killer.


I loved this movie. Not because it was good, but because it didn't offer any explanation for any of the insane shit that was going on. so young Billy gets kicked around all his life, can drag race with the other boys, his girlfriend forces him to go to parties he doesn't want to go to, her grandfather is an old crazy colonel that threatens to shoot him all the time. It’s just the way of his life, which is until he finds a laser gun out in the desert, along with activating device that doubles as a necklace. Two guys try to rape his girlfriend, he gets them off of her but she begs him not to do anything. Later that same night, we see him with his laser gun. He blows up the car of the would be rapists. but we see that the gun takes a toll on young William. it seems the more he uses the weapon, the more he turns into a hideous monster. but when he wakes up in the morning, all that's left is a growth were the necklace rests. His girlfriend suggests that he should go to the doctor; naturally the doctor is Roddy McDowall. The doctor takes this mysterious growth and has it analyzed, but on his way back Billy pulls out his gun and kills Roddy. Now while this is going on, there are stop motion aliens that are watching Billy from their space ship and i can't tell if they are pleased with what he's doing or angry. Billy and his girlfriend make love on the grass and while Billy sleeps, she puts the necklace and thus turns him back into a monster. From this point on, Billy goes around killing everyone he sees, he sees a Star Wars billboard on the side of the road and it's almost as if the director wanted to say "move over Star Wars, here comes LASERBLAST!!" Billy wreaks some more havoc until he's in the middle of the street after having blown a few cars into nonexistence when the aliens come down and kill him. They leave without taking back their laser gun. The final shot is that of a dead Billy being cradled by his girlfriend. Not one single explanation and to me, that is just courage. I respect their detachment from plot and even dialogue at times and their love of props and interpretive dance. Rent this movie, but only if you are ready to think.

and now, for no reason, the newest mix cd i've been working on.

I call this one:

"Doug Bradley's Reason For Living"

Queen - Flash's Theme
Huey Lewis and the News - Workin' for a livin'
The Doors - Love Me Two Times
Soundgarden - Girl U Want ( cover of the devo song)
John Lennon - Instant Karma
Radiohead - Karma Police
Skid Row - 18 and Life
Stone Temple Pilots - Too Cool Queenie
The Clash - Spanish Bombs
The Ramones - Danny Says
Pearl Jam - Do The Evolution
The Cure - Boys Don't Cry
Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
Kiss - I Love It Loud
Human League - Don't You Want Me
Desert Sessions - I Wanna Make It Wit Chu
Jackie Wilson - (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher And Higher
Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk To Fuck
Stevie Wonder - I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever)
The Pixies - Where Is My Mind?
Johnny Cash - Personal Jesus ( best cover song ever)
Kenny Loggins - Nobody's Fool ( yes, i end with the theme from Caddyshack II. it's what we call balls, people.)

I've had it with vh1.

OK, i enjoyed the list shows for a while. but now it's just getting snotty. i was watching the "awesomely bad metal songs" and they have fucking dio's last in line and danzig's mother on the list. and the reason? you shouldn't have the word mother in a metal song. these people shitting on music that most of them haven't even listened to on even a tiny scale. fuck you vh1 and your need to make yourself feel better by shitting on others.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

You got to hand it to that superman, after killing the random hobo, he'll just kill his friends. Bat shit insane.

You can't fight the hemoglobin heroin.

Staring: Adrian Rawlins, Lee Blakemore, and Phil Cornwell.

Directed by
Charly Cantor

IMDB Plot Outline: 20 years ago, Carl was responsible for genetically engineering a girl with narcotic blood. Now he's brought her home - and the boundaries between love and addiction are becoming increasingly blurred.

That image on the cover appears nowhere in the film itself. And I was pleased by that, I expected it to be something like darkness falls or maybe ever a blockbuster horror rental. But it turned out to be a decent movie. This movie was more psychological that horror. Ok, so you save a girl with addictive blood from the junkies that keep her captive and take her home. She becomes a member of the family eventually stops walking around naked and starts acclimatizing with her surroundings and then becomes your sons best friend and spends hours playing Nintendo 64 with him. So it's almost kind of a sweet adoption story until the dad sees his creation get a cut on her finger and he can help but her apparently orgasmic addictive blood. But because whatever amount she loses she needs returned nine times over, it starts a situation that leads to affairs, divorce and junkie behavior. It's a highly sexual movie but not in the standard tawdry horror way. I know I'd find it hard to fight off the charms of Miss Lee Blakemore and that's without the drug blood. I was surprised by how good this movie was, especially because I first saw the trailer of this film on the DVD of the god awful movie called Vampires vs. Zombies. I both like and dislike this movie, I like it because it's a quality film, I dislike it because it means that there might be more diamonds in the rough, but it almost definitely means hours of shit to find them. But take it from me, this is a decent movie.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Jesus, that Superman is one hardcore mother fucker. "Here, dress like me and let me watch you die slowly". That's some twisted shit.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Yes Superman, crash through the wall so you don't get wet. Great thinking, ass.

What I think when I see comic book covers...

Hey, how about you just stop acting like such a douche bag and just tell your brother the truth. He shouldn't be too shockable, I mean he is standing in front of a robot Sherlock Homes.

The Carradine - Campbell Vampire Connection.

Staring:David Carradine,Maxwell Caulfield,Deborah Foreman, and Bruce Campbell

Directed by
Anthony Hickox


IMDB Plot Summary : Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sun cream to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

i loved this movie. it's a vampire western, for heaven's sake. it's not a work of art but it's fun to watch. so there was this blood scientist and his family unknowingly moving to the vampire town, to work on a creation of artificial blood. this is so David Carradine can have his world were vampires aren't hunted by humans for killing them. But he didn't know that there was an underground movement to go back to the killing ways. Lead by the town preacher. And we also find that one of the rebels has slept with the scientist's wife back in collage. This role is played by Maxwell Caulfield. So basically he's a massive douche bag. We also have the story of the descendant of Van Helsing coming into town, played by Bruce Campbell. Like most of his roles, it plays off his amazing slapstick ability and as he comes into town one of the vampires played by Deborah Foreman (of Waxwork "fame" if you can really say fame to that). She falls in love with Bruce and he's eventually turned into a vampire by David Carradine to make Deborah happy. All of these little plots lead into the town shoot out. Vampires using guns with wooden bullets. It all ends with David Carradine Having to have a draw with the leader of the opposition, the vampire preacher. The preacher is sure he'll win because he's the oldest vampire in town (and the older you are the stronger and quicker you are). Carradine is quicker and kills the preacher, caradine then says "I had to change my name because that damn bram stoker book." but even finding out David Carradine is dracula wasn't going to stop the rest of the rebels. That's when suddenly the blood scientist erects a massive cross. And all vampires shield their eyes. Then it becomes obvious that only the murderous rebels are the ones burning and melting. So in a scene that made this movie easily worth the rental price is David Carradine as dracula looking up at the cross with tears in his eyes saying "we have been forgiven..." I mean you don't get much better than that, folks. If you want a silly vampire movie to rent, this will not disappoint.

I want to get drunk in a Forest.
I want to dance in a submarine.
I want to punch an elephant.
I want to be poignant.
I want to be meaningless.
I want to watch the Adams family.
I want a girl that has my sense of humor.
I want to fuck.
I want to laugh.
I want to sing.
I want to eat a club sandwich.
I want to be stronger.
I want to forget.
I want a sixth season of angel.
I want a cigarette that won't kill me.
I want a different president.
I want to be a kinder person.
I want to find a large roll of hundred dollar bills.
I want more hits on my blog.
I want to meditate.
I want my brother to stop mixing apple juice and jack daniels and calling it apple jacks.
I want a different body.
I want a new Friday the 13th movie.
I want to break windows.
I want the clock to roll back.
I want the special edition of big trouble in little china.
I want to be somebody's best man.
I want to be green lantern.
I want to meet new people.
I want more comments on my journal.
I want new socks.
I want to hug my dad.
I want to be a pirate next Halloween.
I want a funeral like Graham Chapman's.
I want to break into a candy store and leave some candy.
I want be a good father.
I want to live in a log cabin near a lake.
I want to be respected.
I want the greatest hits of the fabulous thunderbirds.
I want love.
I want a lot of fucking things, it looks like.

Ladies of the night with gardening equipment has never felt so right.

Staring : Gunnar Hansen,Linnea Quigley, and Jay Richardson


Directed by
Fred Olen Ray


IMDB Plot Summary: Jack Chandler is a private eye tracking down Samantha the runaway. In his travels, he comes across a gang of chainsaw wielding prostitutes that like to carve people up for their cult.


This is the kind of movie that we just don't get anymore. Yeah, you get your skin flicks, and your super cheap blockbuster horror rentals (of which Jay Richardson and Linnea Quigley have stared in frequently) , but they don't have the same charm as a Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. It's pretty easy to understand when you see this little warning at the start of the film. This movie had it all, nudity, the allure of Hollywood, nudity, the religious significance of the chainsaw, nudity, and of course, hookers galore (and nudity). Ok, so this movie is obviously a piece of shit. But it's a piece of shit with a likeable attitude. it went about its mediocrity with a wink and a smile, And that helps the medicine go down smoothly. So many movies of this type put out today are so "oh here is a spoof of planet of the apes called Play Mate of the Apes and it's nothing but terrifying lesbian sex scenes". No, that's not how you do it. I want my awful story, I want my ancient Egyptian cult of the chainsaw lead by the guy who played Leatherface. I want my shitty film noir attempt, and yes God damn it, I want hookers with chainsaws!

Yeah, and if there was a God, it would have stayed "lost"

The Lost Empire

Staring: Bill Thornbury, Raven De La Croix, Robert Tessier, and Angus Scrimm.

Written & Directed by Jim Wynorski

IMDB Plot Summary : After officer Rob Wolfe is killed trying to stop a gang of ninjas from robbing a jewelery store, his sister, officer Angel Wolfe, vows to avenge his death. Her investigation leads her to the mysterious Dr. Sin Do, who is supposedly in league with an undead wizard named Lee Chuck. The doctor is holding a martial arts tournament on a secret island fortress, so Angel, after rounding up some of her martial-artist friends, enters the tournament in the hopes of finding Sin Do and Lee Chuck and bringing them to justice.




Ok, so this is a titty movie. I didn't know that when I rented it. I also didn't know it had Angus Scrimm. When I rented it I thought I'd be getting some cheap Flash Gordon knock off. Boy, was I wrong. It not only has the tall man but Bill Thornbury who played Jody from phantasm as well. I wonder what sort of debt they were both in because not even tits or angus scrimm could save this movie. I fell asleep twice while watching this movie. I had to stop it and start again the next day. This movie is essentially a blur to me. I remember the Robert Tessier character ogling women. He also had the most ridiculous eyebrows I have ever seen. I remember random shots of Raven De La Croix's breasts. It wasn't even titillating (no pun intended), it was just there. Oh Angus Scrimm is a thousand year old Asian man who just turned into a demon. I found no satisfaction in any of this. And when I find no satisfaction from Angus Scrimm tearing his flesh off to reveal his true self, something is terribly wrong. The only joy I felt was when this movie ended. There is no reason to watch this movie, if you want breasts, watch cinimax, if you want Angus Scrimm, rent phantasm. Do yourself a favor, if you ever see the cover of the vhs box, turn around and pretend you didn't see anything.

The True Power Of Science

Choke Canyon

Staring :Stephen Collins,Janet Julian, and Lance Henriksen

Directed by
Charles Bail


IMDB Plot Outline: A "cowboy"-scientist is fighting a corporation who wants to dump atomic waste on a piece of land he has leased.


A cowboy scientist. that really says it all doesn't it? this is Steven Collins finest role post star trek the motion picture and pre 7th heaven. and Lance Henriksen puts in a nice showing as well. Now, if you are fan of science being portrayed accurately, then don't watch this movie, but if you want your science with a cowboy had and an attitude, then choke canyon is right up your alley. this is not the stuff that those eggheads at those universities do, this is the true science. Steven Collins is a Cowboy scientist who has figured out that if he can bring Haley's comet into choke canyon he would be able to use the sound waves as an inexhaustible source of energy for the world. No, I'm not making this up. everything is going well until Lance Henriksen representing an evil corporation plans on dumping toxic waste in the canyon. This sets up a chain of events that can only be explained by the words "COWBOY SCIENCE". But ultimately there is only one reason to watch this movie. The chase scene at the end of this film is just lovely. it involves a helicopter that is carrying a plastic ball filled with toxic waste, a by-plane, and two buses filled with tourists. Steven Collins needs to bring the ball of toxic waste to a congress man for a proper investigation to start, needless to say, the evil corporation doesn't want to display one of their toxic balls. so the cowboy scientist steals the helicopter but is then chased by the by-plane. the chase takes an intense turn when Steven Collins has to set down on a bus to lose the corporation lackey. but the lackey knows that turnabout is fair play and lands his by-plane on another tour bus. So the chase is now taking place between two buses with aircraft on top of them. Steven has his helicopter lift off but not before some more corporate scum latch on to the ball. So he hands control of the helicopter and slides down the high tension wire to fight the bad guy. Steven kicks the man off, and then finally, the helicopter lands in front of a city hall with Steven Collins standing on a ball of toxic waste. the corporation gets theirs, and then Mr. Collins puts his "COWBOY SCIENCE" to good use and makes a comet fly through a canyon. Watch this movie if only for the opportunity to witness (I think unintentionally) a sexual metaphor on a planetary scale.

Patrick Swayze...... Will I ever trust you again?

Steel Dawn

Staring Patrick Swayze,Lisa Niemi, Brion James , Arnold Vosloo, and Brett Hool

Directed by Lance Hool

imdb plot outline:In a post-apocalyptic world, a warrior wandering through the desert comes upon a group of settlers who are being menaced by a murderous gang that is after the water they control.

Oh, where do I begin with Steel Dawn? When I saw an add for this my hopes were high because I saw Patrick Swayze with a sword. And I assumed that meant it would, A) be pretty bad, and B) at least be somewhat entertaining. oh lord, was I wrong. I can forgive the awful science. But I cannot forgive the acting or the dialogue. Arnold Vosloo , who later went on to play the mummy, showed why, one day, he would be perfectly suited to play a five thousand year old corpse. The late Brion James was hardly known for his acting skill, but even he could do better than the output in this film. then there is Brett Hool. i think we can safely assume he is related to the director. his performance is so terrible, that I'd say that he makes Jake Lloyd from Phantom Menace looks like a decent actor in comparison. the whole thing reminds me too much of the Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus Tragedy that is Time Master for me to even continue talking about it.Lisa Niemi's acting skill cannot be why Patrick Swayze married her. But that's fine, not everyone is an actor, but all she had to do was have chemistry with someone she had been married to by that point for twelve years. she didn't and neither did he. I'm a fan of Patrick Swayze. i defend him in conversations. I'm always the one who says "yeah but what about Point Break and Donnie Darko?" and that normally helps my argument. but this is just another stone on the atlas sized bulk of shitty movies he's done. there was a chase scene in this movie that, i swear on the memory of my grandfather, that was only moving about 6 miles per hour. this movie was so bad that i caught myself thinking what if this was a part of a never finished trilogy that started with Red Dawn. i had to entertain myself, because the movie sure as shit wasn't going to. I expected a little more out of Patrick Swayze. Watch Steel Dawn only when normal methods of euthanasia are not permitted.

that's powerful stuff

So smallville is heading down the road that I can only call "charmed avenue" if it keeps on the path, I'll getting off at the next exit.

ps.

On drawn together they alluded to what is essentially "Link" from legend of zelda getting sucked off by Elmer Fudd. also sponge bob square pants as well as God getting confused by a glory hole. I am not religious and I was offended. that show just got a permanent fan.

pps

I seriously have to have sex with Gwen Stafani. i'm gonna have to get to work on that soon. i've put it off too long.

New layout.

And that's pretty much it. I watched "the wicker man" (which was wonderful) as well as "steel dawn"(which was shit) today, I'll post reviews on those later.


Edit: i'll also work out the kinks later.

Eight random thoughts and things that are going on with me.

1) It amazes me how insane this tribal mentality is getting. Sorry if I don't automatically hate someone who voted for bush. i may hate what he stands for but people have the right to vote for him. Should I turn in my liberal club card?

2) i found out I'm second cousins with Angus Scrimm. Time to get me some of that Phantasm money!

3) I had the idea of killing everyone else on the earth with the name Corey. I'd save Corey Feldman and Corey Haim for last, for their crime is the most severe. I should probably be on some sort of medication.

4) I had a dream last night that I was on a road trip and I pulled off the road in Arizona and all of a sudden a large group of people picked me up and took me to a massive amphitheater and then awarded me with the title "King Douche Bag". OK, I didn't dream that, but it would be cool if did.

5) I think the smiths and Morrissey are a bit overrated I've only ever liked "how soon is now" and it's not enough to get me to fawn over them. I do love Robert Smith though, even though he's starting to look like pizza the hutt.

6) i want to gather together the few people left on the planet that have the captain power tapes and toy ships and somehow make a Clandestine society that's only goal is to make our future like that on the tapes we watched as kids.

7) I keep on fucking missing scrubs. The venture brothers too. Also apparently Ronnie James fucking Dio played the theater just before Halloween. This pisses me off. I tell you if my large Irish head wasn't attached to my body it would just float away.

8) the other day i was asked this question "What WAS Kids Incorporated?" and answered quickly by saying "it was essentially the Mickey Mouse Club for the 80's". but inside that question exposed feelings i didn't even know were there. not only did that show give us high quality levels of children over acting, but it also lovingly marginalized songs from the current and previous generations. its responsible for Martika who gave us the wonderful single "toy soldiers", Ryan Lambert who played "Rudy" in monster squad , Mario López Slater of "Saved by the bell" fame,Jennifer Love Hewitt , and Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas (and she was also in Mr. T's rock opera "Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool!") No normal show could give us so much. So on the surfice I had an answer for the question, but inside, I just had to ask myself, "What WAS Kids Incorporated?"

"I dont eat meat unless it's Dick Nixon."

Chistpher Lee IS Dracula to me. just look at the guy.
oh and look at this because it's awesome.

I am going to comic con next year. And I will dress up like a Klingon and I will make a total ass out of myself.

Today my brother and I had to choose between this:



and this:


We ended up choosing the second but either way, we're awesome.

and now some words from the mouth of that preacher...

"I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.

"Pick it up."

"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."

"Pick up the gun."

"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."

"Pick up the gun."

(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)

"You all saw him - he had a gun."

And fellas, you got to watch it, When she wind up, she bottom, she go like a rocket!

i stared at this for way too long.
confusing but enjoyable
just fucking confusing.
i really shouldn't find this as funny as i do.
huh?
this is just beautiful

Watched an old episode of E.R. last night. God damn, do i loves me the Maura Tierney.

I probably shouldn't be admitting this, but I have a fantasy that if I'm dating a girl, she'd be wearing one of my T-shirts and be in her panties, lip synching and dancing to Harry Belafonte's Jump In The Line (Shake Senora).

this is Glorious music.

P.S.

this has nothing to do with anything, but National Treasure looks so incredibly fucking awful. I must see it.

P.P.S.

And now for my message from the future

I see a world where the blue states secede from the nation, where the red have their total Christians values, where gays and blacks and liberals are shipped away to the blue California and blue New York. Where the red nation gets what it want, a perfect white Christian nation. Blonde hair blue eyes and money and Jesus. Where country music is the national music. And where the blue nation has its world where gay marriage and abortions go on into infinity, where cloning and prostitution, the legalization of drugs, and the use of embryonic stem cells are free and clear. Where Hollywood movie stars fill all levels of government, where those who want their God based and godless societies may have just that. if these two nations ever went to war we'd have the red with all the guns and off road vehicles and all soldiers bathed in holy water before battle and the songs of Toby Keith play on forever to inspire the troops, and the blue would have an unending amount of clones of Brad Pitt and other actors who have no weapons but are protected by the layer of dead baby cells that protects them and can regenerate any injury. I'm from blue, how about you?

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

OK folks, here is the deal. I got very sick and needed some bed rest for a little bit. I'm still on the road to recovery so subjecting myself to really shitty movies would be an unwise move health wise right now. But I'll be back with more awful film reviews than ever.


With love and landmines

Captain Corey

Witness Pat Morita paying off his water bill.

Timemaster

staring Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus, Pat Morita , Michelle Williams ,Veronica Cameron-Glickenhaus, and Michael Dorn

directed by James Glickenhaus

First off, I would like to say that I did not rent or buy this movie, that is was given as a gift. I think I feel both honored and offended when I think about that now. This is a movie about an alternate time line where time travelers go to every era and have gladiatorial combat with their agents, all in an effort to win the most important drug ever created, "blue". Once you've taken blue, you need regular doses or you'll die of old age. Because, of course, blue is a drug that stops the ageing process. I think we all saw this plot coming when we saw that Pat Morita was in it. Young Jessie is who lives with his sister at orphanage is apparently the master of time as he now dreams about how his father is one of the best time gladiators, this makes him run away but not before haven't the worst acted scene, I have ever scene that was not done by chimps. His goodbye to his sister is so bad; you think that the emotional connection would be there because of the fact that really is his sister playing his sister. But no such luck, he leaves and this leads him to Pat Morita who guides him through time for no apparent reason. We see many stupid sights and are supposed to be awed at the time stream which is basically bubbles. he goes to the old west and meets Michelle Williams, they get friendly and they hop back to the future, where we now see his sister has become a biker chick and basically hates him for abandoning her all while Michael Dorn's henchmen (oh did I forget to tell you that he was the mastermind behind the whole gladiator thing? sorry.) chase them off to go bouncing with time bubbles again. It all ends with well with Pat Morita explaining that his is addicted to blue, and that the world won't explode because of Michael Dorn. Things go back to normal and everyone is happy.

Now, one of the many things that bugged me about this movie would be the obvious nepotism. Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus plays Jessie. Veronica Cameron-Glickenhaus plays Veronica. The movie is directed by James Glickenhaus, their father. Now, Jessie was in three movies according to imdb.com, all three directed by his father, in all three of them he was named Jessie. This blows my mind. I'm ok with nepotism, because I bet it must be so difficult to get into Hollywood and get started in the business. So a little short cut is fine with me, but my only stipulation is that they have some modicum of talent. Judging by what I've seen, the Glickenhaus children could not act their way out of paper sack. I mean, just the fact that all of Jessie's characters are named Jessie proves that, he obviously had a hard time responding to a name that wasn't his, but I don't blame them; I blame their father, who is obviously one of those parents that forces their kids into something they don't want to do. Please people, if you think your kid is cute and can act, don't do it. Don't make them into another Jessie Cameron Glickenhaus.

What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

"It's insane, this guy's taint"

Man, do I feel like shit. I feel so damn weak. I'm sure going through a bit of nicotine withdrawal dosen't help. But the worst part is that I wanted to head to the beach today. That is so not happening.

On the bright side, I did just watch the Mr. Show fourth season DVD. That's some wonderful stuff. I fucking love that monk academy sketch. So fantastic.

You know, I just absolutely love the law & order shows.

so I read ultimate spider-man #66, and I just found it funny how when a fan asks in a letter in powers, if the ultimate spider-man will ever meet the original spider-man and bedis says " eww, what is this, dc?" yet he has wolverine and spider-man having switched bodies. Oh that's right, only dc does the totally unbelievable shit, I'm sorry I forgot.

The only thing I truly love about the bush presidency, is the fact that the I could totally see the first lady catching squirrels and ripping off their heads with her teeth.. And that's pretty awesome.

Sorry, but I feel the need to repeat my mission statement.

FUCK JASON X.




I mean, seriously, what the fuck?

Green Lantern - Homecoming?

So the "Homecoming?" story line in green lantern just finished. And I have to say, I'm glad this might be the last time Ron Marz writes green lantern. while my favorite green lantern is Hal Jordan, don't let that make you think that I'm a Kyle hater. I'm a fan of all green lanterns. but Kyle under Ron Marz was not much of a character in my mind. they tried to make him too much like Peter Parker in my opinion. and it wasn't until Judd Winick came on the book that the character actually started to grow. but Hal is coming back and they needed to rap up Kyle's book. i was hoping Mr. Marz would not return Kyle to the way he was when the character was created, but for all intents and purposes he did. the moment Ron comes on board, Kyle's like turns to shit and he starts the self pity ride. there's also the fact of the book completely retreading old territory, but I still could see this story possibly having a nice conclusion it didn't have it. In the final issue in the arc Kyle is about to murder major force and then all of a sudden Kyle suddenly listens to this man he wants dead, and gets talked into giving up his ring. This is not the character I have come to like. I hope that Kyle is written better under Geoff Johns than he was under his creator.

So I watched this movie the other day.

Link with Elisabeth Shue and Terence Stamp.

All I can say is that this movie is that I think it might be the only film to perfectly cause the cream your jeans feeling. I mean it's a former circus orangutan horror movie And I think it was made for HBO type flick. Mr. Stamp with his wonderful hair and tough love treatment to the apes. Elisabeth Shue was looking very cute and innocent. she does appear nude in this movie for a couple seconds, and it might be one of the most awkward nude scenes I've ever seen. Ladies, just imagine you are about to get into the bath and this ape you've been living with for about week, who smokes like a chimney and always wears his clothes, never wants them off even, walks into the bathroom naked and proceeds to stare at your naked body. taking you in with his monkey eyes. they made this orangutan so sinister. just the fact that i fucking said "they made this orangutan so sinister" should tell you what a great movie it is. I'm telling you, there are so many stills from this movie that would make perfect desktops. and there are many livejournal icons waiting to happen in this film. See this movie. Bottom line, if you don't like it, I don't like you.

Can you take me high enough, To fly me over (fly me over) yesterday

Man, I always knew there was a reason i had a "shue" fetish. Yes I am loading the gun, don't worry.

The more I listen to velvet revolver, the more I like it. While I still think it's far from the best thing Scott or the guns boys have ever done, it is starting to grow on me.

OK, so I was watching vh1, now there's this guy singing, and I'm pretty sure all he's done is fuck Ashley Simpson. So basically if you fuck the sister of someone really famous you get your own semi fame? So what happens if I french kiss Abe Vigoda's grand niece?

Seriously, when is everyone gonna get tired of this "adorable" little pop star? i'm sure there are big titted blonde singers out there that have talent. but then again, maybe i shouldn't judge so harshly. she has amazing talent compaired to this.

Neil Young is slowly devolving into an ape. And God bless him for it.

Jesus mother fucking Christ on a pogo stick. I almost downloaded a damn yankee's album. that was way too fucking close for comfort.

I think i should be in marketing, cause I'd have a commercial for capri sun or some shit like that, and I have this kid skate boarding and he'd be in a rhinestone jumpsuit and he'd have the most glorious mullet you've ever seen. He'd be doing great tricks while the song "juke box hero" would be playing. but instead of juke it would be juice. All I know is that if I was a kid from 1989 I'd buy drink in a fucking second.

Twin Towers Thimble.

Proof that the terrorists haven't won.

Separated at birth?

'Cause you could be mine but you're way out of line

OK, so I had this dream where for a moment I was duff from guns 'n roses. All I did was drink and give the finger to fans that walked by. I gave some female fans that walked by the most evil duff look and they said to themselvs "i wouldn't have his baby". then my dream changed into a commercial for coke, and the song "you could be mine" by guns n' roses was playing on a basket ball court and both teams were doing terribly, then axel rose dressed in a bright red suit drank a coke and started to play basketball like crazy, slam dunking, doing flips, then he jumped up on the hoop and looked at the "camera" he had a coke in his hand and he was holding it near his face looking at it and he said "you could be mine" then my dream changed again to this reality show about four hot Jewish girls forced to live in a loft in New York in their underwear. And for some reason Bobcat Goldthwait was there.

tonight i watched a toad eat a mouse.

I have officially had enough of fitness guru John Basedow. I never need to see him again. he can keep his muscle tits of my TV.

I rented a movie with David Carradine and Bruce Campbell and it's about town of vampires. man, that is going to be great.

Of course one of the very few things that George W. Bush has said that I agreed with (that being that you can't win a war on terrorism) he retracts almost the next day.

I don't know how to feel about Ron Marz's current run on green lantern, while it's so obviously reusing old story points it's also pissing off that fanatical sect of green lantern fans. So i'm torn.

I have officially reached Bedis burnout. I'm starting a mass drop of almost all the titles he's on that I buy.

I will never go to Australia. I just watched a documentary called "Cane Toads" that had a male toad fucking a dead female toad in the middle of a road. there's no way you can get me to go to the continent of necrophilic frogs.

some random thoughts.

Identity crisis is one of the best things I've read in a while. And it's not even finished.

I love the xbox role playing game fable because as soon as I'm done playing the game as a ladies man warrior, I'm going to play it as a gay wizard. It's the first rpg I've played that had gay marriage.

Johnny Ramone is dead and Fred Durst is alive and well.Where's your God now?

I've recently watched most of the justice league animated series. That is the closest thing I've seen to the way comics feel produced in another medium. And no huge continuity baggage.

I went to dinner with a group of friends, while standing outside and talking not far from the venture theater where the violent femmes were playing, this guy yells out "femmes!" then walks over to us and shakes all our hands. he asks "who has the light?", i point to my brother and say "he does". he pulls out a pack of Marlboro's and i bum a smoke from him. he asks "you here to see the show?" my friend Jeff says "no, were just talking after dinner" and then the guy farts and walks away. i had to say what the fuck, but man do i respect that guy.

This should come as no surprise to viewers of showtime at the Apollo.

I have discovered that the bloodline of Jabba the Hutt is alive and well.



I always had my suspicions, but they weren't confirmed until i heard her deep cackle and saw her ungulate her way onto stage and begin to devour small creatures with her giamungus tounge