Saturday, November 13, 2004

Patrick Swayze...... Will I ever trust you again?

Steel Dawn

Staring Patrick Swayze,Lisa Niemi, Brion James , Arnold Vosloo, and Brett Hool

Directed by Lance Hool

imdb plot outline:In a post-apocalyptic world, a warrior wandering through the desert comes upon a group of settlers who are being menaced by a murderous gang that is after the water they control.

Oh, where do I begin with Steel Dawn? When I saw an add for this my hopes were high because I saw Patrick Swayze with a sword. And I assumed that meant it would, A) be pretty bad, and B) at least be somewhat entertaining. oh lord, was I wrong. I can forgive the awful science. But I cannot forgive the acting or the dialogue. Arnold Vosloo , who later went on to play the mummy, showed why, one day, he would be perfectly suited to play a five thousand year old corpse. The late Brion James was hardly known for his acting skill, but even he could do better than the output in this film. then there is Brett Hool. i think we can safely assume he is related to the director. his performance is so terrible, that I'd say that he makes Jake Lloyd from Phantom Menace looks like a decent actor in comparison. the whole thing reminds me too much of the Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus Tragedy that is Time Master for me to even continue talking about it.Lisa Niemi's acting skill cannot be why Patrick Swayze married her. But that's fine, not everyone is an actor, but all she had to do was have chemistry with someone she had been married to by that point for twelve years. she didn't and neither did he. I'm a fan of Patrick Swayze. i defend him in conversations. I'm always the one who says "yeah but what about Point Break and Donnie Darko?" and that normally helps my argument. but this is just another stone on the atlas sized bulk of shitty movies he's done. there was a chase scene in this movie that, i swear on the memory of my grandfather, that was only moving about 6 miles per hour. this movie was so bad that i caught myself thinking what if this was a part of a never finished trilogy that started with Red Dawn. i had to entertain myself, because the movie sure as shit wasn't going to. I expected a little more out of Patrick Swayze. Watch Steel Dawn only when normal methods of euthanasia are not permitted.

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