Saturday, April 30, 2005

Honest opinions, even if you don't like them.

It's worth a thousand rapes of Sue Dibny to have the return of Detective Chimp.

Can I not see Hush in a Batman comic every god damned month? There is no need for a new Azrael.

If the death of Blue Beetle makes you truly angry, than you've got some serious emotional problems. Hal Jordan is probably my favorite hero. When he went nuts, I didn't cry or demand a change in the editorial department, I read other comic books. If there is one group with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, it most certainly is comic book fans.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The power and the glory that is The Carradine

Staring : David Carradine,Luke Askew,Anthony De Longis, and Maria Socas.

Directed by
John C. Broderick

IMDB Plot Summary : The mighty warrior, Kain, crosses the barren wastelands of the planet Ura, where two arch enemies, Zeg and the evil degenerate Balcaz, fight incessantly for control of the village's only well. Kain sees his opportunity and announces that his sword is for hire...But his eyes stay clearly on the beautiful captive sorceress Naja, and his newly awakened purpose.

This is not a good film, but it is a great one. So this is a sword and sorcery piece. But it's even more than that. Just imagine Yojimbo but with David Carradine and lizard people. It's a bizarre film. If you've seen Youjimbo or the western adaptation A Fistful of Dollars then you've seen this. The main difference is that this movie has a lizard man. A terrifying little creature that is both counsel to the obese Balcaz and I think, his vaguely implied sexual partner. This movie also has an abundance of nude women. There is an orgy, of course, but it seems a good number of the town women were given outfits that would move out of place and expose their breast if they moved in the slightest. That not even counting the Four breasted topless dancer that attempts to kill The Carradine. Oh and then there is Maria Socas. She is topless throughout the whole movie. I guess she's supposed to be the Sorceress but she shows little magical ability, unless showing your tits is some sort of witchcraft that I didn't know about. This is all well and good. But the reason anybody would rent this movie is David Carradine. And I can honestly say that I am addicted to seeing that man sword fight on film. Thanks to the wonder of Netflix, I should be able to keep from going into withdrawals.

My Verdict: It's a David Carradine sword and sorcery adaptation of Yojimbo, with topless women and a lizard man. Rent the God damned movie already.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Random comic book thoughts.

I like green lantern:rebirth. Hal Jordan is my favorite green lantern, but I also have every appearance of Kyle Rayner. so let's not assume that every person that is liking rebirth is a member of some retarded fan club.

Why did 9/11 have such a big effect on the marvel universe? considering how many superheroes and villains that live in Manhattan alone, the daily body count must be at least five hundred. let's take the ten people that Omega Red kills every time he appears and then most likely on the same day Terrax kills about twenty or thirty. that's not even counting Venom, Carnage, or a heavy hitter like Magneto. The death toll for a month must be in the tens of thousands. So I don't get the impact on the characters, unless of course it was all a gimmick to tie into a tragedy.

Is it wrong that I might buy every variant cover of the new Friday The 13th comic book?

Mark Millar's Spider-Man was such a let down. The story would have been so much better if the villain behind the story was the Spider-Clone. it would have taken balls to bring back the clone knowing how it would piss off a good number of the fans. at least DC is Correcting the mistake they made with the Batman Hush storyline.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Three thousand guitars they seem to cry, My ears will melt, and then my eyes.

I'm going to rent Humanoids from the Deep from netflix, it'll be the second time I've watched it. Because, like I said to my brother, "sometimes I feel like watching an Indian fight sea beasts."

I'm listening to the new queens of the stone age CD. It's pretty good. I'm comparing it to the last two albums, and that might be too harsh a comparison. If I compare it to what passes for rock these days, it's a fucking masterpiece. But songs like "burn the witch" and "long slow goodbye" are just fucking awesome. I don't know what that Sara Silverman video that comes with the bonus cd was all about.

I seem to only have interest in sports that begin the letter 'B'. ( yes, that does include bum fighting)

I have a friend named Doug, he has a thing for chubby Mexican girls and Captain Morgan's spiced rum. He also enjoys long nights of playing mortal kombat and reading Maya Angelou poetry. Doug is a man of extremes.

Jack Handy - "When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."

If there's a better fight scene than the one in They Live, I have yet to see it.

a motto that I wish to live by - "For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. This you can trust."