Sunday, October 10, 2004

Witness Pat Morita paying off his water bill.


staring Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus, Pat Morita , Michelle Williams ,Veronica Cameron-Glickenhaus, and Michael Dorn

directed by James Glickenhaus

First off, I would like to say that I did not rent or buy this movie, that is was given as a gift. I think I feel both honored and offended when I think about that now. This is a movie about an alternate time line where time travelers go to every era and have gladiatorial combat with their agents, all in an effort to win the most important drug ever created, "blue". Once you've taken blue, you need regular doses or you'll die of old age. Because, of course, blue is a drug that stops the ageing process. I think we all saw this plot coming when we saw that Pat Morita was in it. Young Jessie is who lives with his sister at orphanage is apparently the master of time as he now dreams about how his father is one of the best time gladiators, this makes him run away but not before haven't the worst acted scene, I have ever scene that was not done by chimps. His goodbye to his sister is so bad; you think that the emotional connection would be there because of the fact that really is his sister playing his sister. But no such luck, he leaves and this leads him to Pat Morita who guides him through time for no apparent reason. We see many stupid sights and are supposed to be awed at the time stream which is basically bubbles. he goes to the old west and meets Michelle Williams, they get friendly and they hop back to the future, where we now see his sister has become a biker chick and basically hates him for abandoning her all while Michael Dorn's henchmen (oh did I forget to tell you that he was the mastermind behind the whole gladiator thing? sorry.) chase them off to go bouncing with time bubbles again. It all ends with well with Pat Morita explaining that his is addicted to blue, and that the world won't explode because of Michael Dorn. Things go back to normal and everyone is happy.

Now, one of the many things that bugged me about this movie would be the obvious nepotism. Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus plays Jessie. Veronica Cameron-Glickenhaus plays Veronica. The movie is directed by James Glickenhaus, their father. Now, Jessie was in three movies according to, all three directed by his father, in all three of them he was named Jessie. This blows my mind. I'm ok with nepotism, because I bet it must be so difficult to get into Hollywood and get started in the business. So a little short cut is fine with me, but my only stipulation is that they have some modicum of talent. Judging by what I've seen, the Glickenhaus children could not act their way out of paper sack. I mean, just the fact that all of Jessie's characters are named Jessie proves that, he obviously had a hard time responding to a name that wasn't his, but I don't blame them; I blame their father, who is obviously one of those parents that forces their kids into something they don't want to do. Please people, if you think your kid is cute and can act, don't do it. Don't make them into another Jessie Cameron Glickenhaus.

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