So I watched this movie the other day.

Link with Elisabeth Shue and Terence Stamp.

All I can say is that this movie is that I think it might be the only film to perfectly cause the cream your jeans feeling. I mean it's a former circus orangutan horror movie And I think it was made for HBO type flick. Mr. Stamp with his wonderful hair and tough love treatment to the apes. Elisabeth Shue was looking very cute and innocent. she does appear nude in this movie for a couple seconds, and it might be one of the most awkward nude scenes I've ever seen. Ladies, just imagine you are about to get into the bath and this ape you've been living with for about week, who smokes like a chimney and always wears his clothes, never wants them off even, walks into the bathroom naked and proceeds to stare at your naked body. taking you in with his monkey eyes. they made this orangutan so sinister. just the fact that i fucking said "they made this orangutan so sinister" should tell you what a great movie it is. I'm telling you, there are so many stills from this movie that would make perfect desktops. and there are many livejournal icons waiting to happen in this film. See this movie. Bottom line, if you don't like it, I don't like you.

Can you take me high enough, To fly me over (fly me over) yesterday

Man, I always knew there was a reason i had a "shue" fetish. Yes I am loading the gun, don't worry.

The more I listen to velvet revolver, the more I like it. While I still think it's far from the best thing Scott or the guns boys have ever done, it is starting to grow on me.

OK, so I was watching vh1, now there's this guy singing, and I'm pretty sure all he's done is fuck Ashley Simpson. So basically if you fuck the sister of someone really famous you get your own semi fame? So what happens if I french kiss Abe Vigoda's grand niece?

Seriously, when is everyone gonna get tired of this "adorable" little pop star? i'm sure there are big titted blonde singers out there that have talent. but then again, maybe i shouldn't judge so harshly. she has amazing talent compaired to this.

Neil Young is slowly devolving into an ape. And God bless him for it.

Jesus mother fucking Christ on a pogo stick. I almost downloaded a damn yankee's album. that was way too fucking close for comfort.

I think i should be in marketing, cause I'd have a commercial for capri sun or some shit like that, and I have this kid skate boarding and he'd be in a rhinestone jumpsuit and he'd have the most glorious mullet you've ever seen. He'd be doing great tricks while the song "juke box hero" would be playing. but instead of juke it would be juice. All I know is that if I was a kid from 1989 I'd buy drink in a fucking second.

Twin Towers Thimble.

Proof that the terrorists haven't won.

Separated at birth?

'Cause you could be mine but you're way out of line

OK, so I had this dream where for a moment I was duff from guns 'n roses. All I did was drink and give the finger to fans that walked by. I gave some female fans that walked by the most evil duff look and they said to themselvs "i wouldn't have his baby". then my dream changed into a commercial for coke, and the song "you could be mine" by guns n' roses was playing on a basket ball court and both teams were doing terribly, then axel rose dressed in a bright red suit drank a coke and started to play basketball like crazy, slam dunking, doing flips, then he jumped up on the hoop and looked at the "camera" he had a coke in his hand and he was holding it near his face looking at it and he said "you could be mine" then my dream changed again to this reality show about four hot Jewish girls forced to live in a loft in New York in their underwear. And for some reason Bobcat Goldthwait was there.

tonight i watched a toad eat a mouse.

I have officially had enough of fitness guru John Basedow. I never need to see him again. he can keep his muscle tits of my TV.

I rented a movie with David Carradine and Bruce Campbell and it's about town of vampires. man, that is going to be great.

Of course one of the very few things that George W. Bush has said that I agreed with (that being that you can't win a war on terrorism) he retracts almost the next day.

I don't know how to feel about Ron Marz's current run on green lantern, while it's so obviously reusing old story points it's also pissing off that fanatical sect of green lantern fans. So i'm torn.

I have officially reached Bedis burnout. I'm starting a mass drop of almost all the titles he's on that I buy.

I will never go to Australia. I just watched a documentary called "Cane Toads" that had a male toad fucking a dead female toad in the middle of a road. there's no way you can get me to go to the continent of necrophilic frogs.

some random thoughts.

Identity crisis is one of the best things I've read in a while. And it's not even finished.

I love the xbox role playing game fable because as soon as I'm done playing the game as a ladies man warrior, I'm going to play it as a gay wizard. It's the first rpg I've played that had gay marriage.

Johnny Ramone is dead and Fred Durst is alive and well.Where's your God now?

I've recently watched most of the justice league animated series. That is the closest thing I've seen to the way comics feel produced in another medium. And no huge continuity baggage.

I went to dinner with a group of friends, while standing outside and talking not far from the venture theater where the violent femmes were playing, this guy yells out "femmes!" then walks over to us and shakes all our hands. he asks "who has the light?", i point to my brother and say "he does". he pulls out a pack of Marlboro's and i bum a smoke from him. he asks "you here to see the show?" my friend Jeff says "no, were just talking after dinner" and then the guy farts and walks away. i had to say what the fuck, but man do i respect that guy.

This should come as no surprise to viewers of showtime at the Apollo.

I have discovered that the bloodline of Jabba the Hutt is alive and well.



I always had my suspicions, but they weren't confirmed until i heard her deep cackle and saw her ungulate her way onto stage and begin to devour small creatures with her giamungus tounge

Run Guyver Run!

I finally saw run ronnie run. It was pretty slow at first, I think the difficulty of the transition from show to movie was the most obvious in the first part of the film. I think some of its problems come from the fact that some of the jokes are taken from sketches from the show almost word for word, but that doesn’t make it any less of a funny film, but once Ronnie got to Hollywood. It was gold The Ronnie Dobbs musical scene was absolutely fantastic. And the scene with the fat kid was hilarious. But the funniest thing in the movie was jack black’s cameo. That was some funny stuff. I think if the Mr. Show guys get around to making another movie they’ll have worked out the kinks, not as good as the show by a long shot, but I still liked it and I’ll say this was funny movie.


watched the guyver the other night. the live action movie with mark hamill and jimmy j. j. walker. i saw this ten years ago. seeing it again, i'm surprised i'm not a murderer now. What the fuck is that? no, seriously, what the fuck is that movie? But it does get an A+ for fish asians.

batman the 19th was killed at a podium!

Want to know why I love superman? It’s really very simple. In issue 166 of worlds finest, in the story of the first team up of the future superman batman team.



muto (the yellow skinned mutant with the large head) was running into a cave to get away from superman, but this superman couldn't go in because sea-water was blocking the entrance. To this superman, sea-water was his kryptonite, because of radiation that had settled in the sea from an intergalactic atomic war. so what does this superman do? He flies above the cave and the water; he uses his incredible strength to stomp above the cave causing an earthquake that starts to bring the cave down around muto. And while superman is doing this, he says and i quote "there's more then one way to skin a mutant!"

That right there is why superman will always be my favorite hero. Thank you, and good day.

Now this is a fine mutant bear movie. maybe the best mutant bear movie i've ever seen

Prophecy



What happens when a logging company does a shitty job and leaves mercury out in the water? well, my friends you get a 20 ft mutant bear with no skin. You also get a hell of a time. Talia Shire and Armand Assante are the main recognizable names from the film. and can some one show me a film where a Talia Shire character that isn't insanely shy and will say look at the other characters in the eyes for longer than a second? But enough of that, I will say when you get right down to it, this is a fun movie. you get Indian legends and lumberjack decapitation. Oh, right and a fucking huge mutant bear. Seriously, what else would you want?

i came here to make babies and chew bubble gum, but i'm all out of bubble gum.

Hell Comes to Frogtown





We all know and love Roddy Piper. "They Live" is a classic. But I say he has been in more than one classic. In fact, I’ll say he's been in two. Hell comes to frog town is about a rebel named Sam Hell. He is one of the few fertile men left after world war III. That means he's the American government’s property and it his job to make babies. It’s also his job to save a bus load of fertile women from the grips of the mutant frogs that rule the desert. I’ll tell you something folks; this was the first time I’ve ever seen a wrestler wearing an electronic chastity belt. And of course he needs that because they want him to be in peak condition when he does his duty for his country. By all rights, I should have hated this movie. But by god, did I love it. This movie has action, ladies in lingerie, Roddy Piper grabbing his balls in pain on many occasions, and a city of mutant frogs. Of course I recommend this. I am sure that Roddy Piper will some day take his place among the legends of action movies. And I will proudly salute him.

After a bit of a break from posting, I'm back with a review of a movie with fish creatures from another dimension.

From Beyond





Stuart Gordon ,Jeffrey Combs and H.P. Lovecraft should all be joined at the hip. Because I’m never disappointed when those three are together on a film. The film starts out with Jeffery Combs as a scientist who is working on an experiment to stimulate the pineal gland and it ends up opening a doorway to another universe that includes glowing floating sea life. This movie was a blast. Barbara Crampon and Ken Foree from re-animator and dawn of the dead fame respectively, put in a nice showing. But as always Jeffery Combs steals the show. Apparently when you stimulate the pineal gland it leads to your friends becoming lose fleshy beasts and you gain a love for sadomasochism. Now I’m not sure how much of this was a part of Lovecraft’s original story but god bless artistic license. This isn't Oscar winning cinema, but it does have a lot of disturbing creatures, Ken Foree shooting monsters in his underwear, Barbara Crapmton naked in a uncomfortable situation (yet again), and Jeffery Combs acting creepy as only he can. I highly recommend it.