Friday, March 18, 2005

Werewolf Coke Enablers

Staring: Jorge Rivero,Andrea Occhipinti,and Conrado San Martín

Directed by
Lucio Fulci

IMDB Plot Outline: A young man, armed with a magical bow and arrows, embarks on a mystical journey through a mystical land to rid it of all evil and joins forces with an outlaw to take down an evil witch bent on claiming the magic bow for evil.

I watched this movie on the same night as Hard Rock Zombies. These would be two movies that had to have been made on the premise of fucking with your mind. it starts out as a normal sword and sorcery movie, like one of the many that populated theaters in the early 80's. boy gets bow and arrow from old wizard. you know, the usual. the point when you realize this is an Italian movie is when you see the main villain of the film, she wears nothing but a spiked thong and a golden mask that is very much like the one worn by Destro from the G.I. Joe cartoon. and naturally she has her werewolf servants feed her a powder drug that give her visions of the future. or as i like to call it, prophecy cocaine. so then they introduce the main hero, called mace. he meets the kid with the bow and arrow and teaches him the way of the world. his weapons are nunchucks and he uses them to confuse and scare away creatures like bats and snakes. he has an unusual belief, he will not kill animals. so he only eats animals that have been killed by others. and usually kills the hunters to get the food. perfectly moral. there are many creatures for mace to kill, most of which are werewolves and one that creeped me out in particular, some sort of man things made out of cobwebs with cat eyes. they had a habit of screeching while on screen so i was always happy to see them die. and something else, this director has had zombies in every film of his that I've seen. he has one that's a motorcycle movie in the future, I'm willing to put money down that there are zombies in that too. so the kid mace was with dies, and his spirit tells mace to anoint himself with the ash of his friends former body so he can use the bow and arrow. but the kid doesn't die unill his head is stabbed. because his soul is in skull. OK, i can handle that. but not more then five minutes later he picks up rocks, leaves and rope and makes an explosive. i mean it. that's all there is. and it explodes. then mace gets captured and crucified but then is knocked over into the ocean and then saved by dolphins. he finally catches up with the destro lady. who is just as nude and into coke as when we first saw her, mace shoots off her mask and we find that she's a zombie. and least in the face. he kills her and walks off into the sun set.

my verdict: I really don't know. It was awful, but at the same time it had werewolves feeding a woman prophecy cocaine. I'm very torn. you'll have to make up your own mind.

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