Monday, March 14, 2005

I cannot think of the words....

Staring: E.J. Curse,Jennifer Coe, Lisa Toothman, and Phil Fondacaro.

Directed by
Krishna Shah

IMDB Plot Summary:A hard rock band travels to the tiny and remote town of Grand Guignol to perform. Peopled by hicks, rubes, werewolves, murderous dwarves, sex perverts, and Hitler, the town is a strange place but that doesn't stop the band's lead singer from falling in love with a local girl named Cassie. After Nazi sex perverts kill the band to satisfy their lusts, Cassie calls the rockers back from the grave to save her, the town, and maybe the world.

Tagline: You can't keep a good band down!

There is no human language that exists now or that ever did exist that could properly describe this film. So rather than make an attempt to describe it, I'll just mention a few of the things I saw and you'll have to decide weather or not it's worth watching after you talk to your friends, your family, and your God.

A Werewolf Eva Braun howling to the daylight.

Eva Braun and Hitler having sex while their dwarf grandchildren (one of whom is incredibly deformed) are watching on.

Not a bit of hard rock in all of the movie.

A hard rock singer singing a love song to an underage girl while he's in jail.

At least three entirely unneeded music videos.

No lighting, so whenever it's dark you can't see a thing.

Adolph Hitler screaming towards the sky over the body of Eva.

Zombie gang rape rituals.

A simple bass guitar riff that any beginner could have accidentally played, brings the dead back to life.

The deformed dwarf grandchild of Hitler devouring himself with a knife and fork.

The director's named being spelled differently from the directors to the writing credits.

All the evil non hard rocking zombies gassed in Hitler's basement (quite possibly one of the most offensive things I've ever seen, and I'm very hard to offend).

My Verdict: I'm not a religious man....But I do feel I have sinned, and that God is punishing me for them. What other explanation would there be for such a film existence and my viewing of it?

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