Thursday, June 24, 2004

Movies: some venting on a Friday the 13th related subject

I love the Friday the 13th movies. In fact, I love them more than anyone I know. My brother called me a Jason historian. Which I think is true, because people will talk about the films and I'll always be able to correct them or help them if they want a question answered about one of the films of the series. I love all of the films to a certain level. The only exception is a movie called Jason x. I hate that movie soooo much. Not only is in the top five of the worst movies I've ever seen, but it literally rapes the Jason character. Now I know what some of you are thinking, the Friday the 13th movies aren't the best films ever. But there is a certain level of goofy gory fun that can be had while watching these films. Jason x is the black spot on the joy I have while thinking of Jason. So much so, that I think my brain blocks out how bad it is, so I forget. It was on tv, and I watched Jason being killed by a fucking lame ass android. I started to rant about it, my brother can vouch for me. I do own the dvd. There are two reasons for that. so i can share my pain. And I’ve done that often. Plus so that I won't forget. Because if we don't remember the Jason history we are doomed to repeat it. and I, for one, will not let another Jason x to happen in my life time. and you can mark my words on that. when people tell me they like the movie, it's like someone saying that they're a fan of Hitler. I’m always shocked. And I wonder what happened to that person when they were young to distort their minds in such away to let such a film to be viewed as good.

for those of you who don't know what I’m talking about, here is a pic charting Jason's evolution. (note: the chart does not include Freddy vs. Jason.)

How do you turn a retarded cereal killer into a cyborg? Ok, yes, he was a zombie at one point, yes he was also a worm that traveled into peoples bodies. but i tell you, none of those changes ever go as low as that so incredibly sub par cyborg. And I fucking love cyborgs.

this is not Jason Voorhees.it never will be. it never will get anywhere close to the real thing.

I am a Jason fucking Voorhees authority. And I fucking hate Jason x.

Yes, I know I need to get laid. You don't need to tell me.

No comments: