Monday, June 28, 2004

Movies: some moving picture reviews

so i watched three movies last night. Fahrenheit 9/11, Eurotrip, and Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach.

one of these films was poignant and very powerful. yes, you guessed it. how could anything be more poignant than police academy 5? hightower and tackleberry make any film a very powerful and personal experience. but lets not forget harris. the most interesting antagonist ever put on film. this film does not suffer too much from the absence of Steve Guttenberg. Watch it, and marvel in it's pure comedic majesty.

If there was a film that ever needed tits more than eurotrip, I have not seen it. Breasts should be in the credits as a character. now don't get me wrong. It's good to have tits in a movie but know in advance that it is the only thing worthwhile in the film. oh there was a lot of penis as well.

And yeah, that Fahrenheit 9/11 movie was ok too.

But seriously, I cried a couple times. And I don't do that very often. the most powerful film Michael Moore's done yet, in my opinion. That might be because he was in the film so little in comparison to his other work. he let footage and the folks in there deliver his message. It doesn't make bush out to be Hitler. Like some clinically retarded left extreme groups have done. it just shows him as a man that really shouldn't the president. I recommend it.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Movies: some venting on a Friday the 13th related subject

I love the Friday the 13th movies. In fact, I love them more than anyone I know. My brother called me a Jason historian. Which I think is true, because people will talk about the films and I'll always be able to correct them or help them if they want a question answered about one of the films of the series. I love all of the films to a certain level. The only exception is a movie called Jason x. I hate that movie soooo much. Not only is in the top five of the worst movies I've ever seen, but it literally rapes the Jason character. Now I know what some of you are thinking, the Friday the 13th movies aren't the best films ever. But there is a certain level of goofy gory fun that can be had while watching these films. Jason x is the black spot on the joy I have while thinking of Jason. So much so, that I think my brain blocks out how bad it is, so I forget. It was on tv, and I watched Jason being killed by a fucking lame ass android. I started to rant about it, my brother can vouch for me. I do own the dvd. There are two reasons for that. so i can share my pain. And I’ve done that often. Plus so that I won't forget. Because if we don't remember the Jason history we are doomed to repeat it. and I, for one, will not let another Jason x to happen in my life time. and you can mark my words on that. when people tell me they like the movie, it's like someone saying that they're a fan of Hitler. I’m always shocked. And I wonder what happened to that person when they were young to distort their minds in such away to let such a film to be viewed as good.

for those of you who don't know what I’m talking about, here is a pic charting Jason's evolution. (note: the chart does not include Freddy vs. Jason.)

How do you turn a retarded cereal killer into a cyborg? Ok, yes, he was a zombie at one point, yes he was also a worm that traveled into peoples bodies. but i tell you, none of those changes ever go as low as that so incredibly sub par cyborg. And I fucking love cyborgs.

this is not Jason Voorhees.it never will be. it never will get anywhere close to the real thing.

I am a Jason fucking Voorhees authority. And I fucking hate Jason x.

Yes, I know I need to get laid. You don't need to tell me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Movies : some reviews of my recent purchases

It's been a movie watching craze at my house.

Rented:

Buckaroo Banzai

i loved buckaroo bonzi. it's insane comic book of movie. plus you gotta love peter weller.

The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury

The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury was a fun little movie. now that i've had some time to think, i see more of the flaws in the new riddick film. i think the animated movie might be better because it stays true to pitch black more then the recent film. I think riddick fits better in a horror setting. but thirty-five minutes of animated action is fine by me.


Bought:

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

the three star trek movies, boy as a kid i watched those first six movies like crazy. it feels good to finally get a decent dvd version of them.

Night of the Living Dead (Millennium Edition)

with the night of the living dead, i felt i needed to finish off the romero zombie trilogy, and from what i could find, this was the best version. apparently supported by George himself. and I'm so glad i didn't buy the one with newly filmed footage. man, did that suck some donkey balls. first George didn't direct it, second it was boring as hell, and i think making a crazy priest talking about zombies a boring thing, is a crime against nature.

Chappelle's Show: season 1

The Chappelle's Show, along with Reno 911, are some of the funniest shows that have been put out in a while. comedy central is doing alright. now if they put out a tough crowd dvd, i would think about buying it, just to see what couldn't make the shows stellar comedy quality level. true story, i watched the show the other day with subtitles on. oh and even then I could barely understand what Colin quinn was mumbling.

buffy the vampire slayer: season 1

and the buffy dvd. I've seen it before, while some of this is cute, I'm mostly buying it because of my collector nature and that spike is one hell of an entertaining character and I look forward to seeing more of his back story. plus, it's a pretty girl fighting monsters. I'll admit my draw to it.

Also watched :

Ginger Snaps

while it had some major plot holes and some really awful one liners, I still enjoyed it. But then again, I'm a sucker for werewolves.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Comics: I like Cable.

I'm going to admit to something that I probably shouldn't. Something that a fan of good, quality comic books should not admit. I'm a fan of Nathan "dayspring askani's son" Summers. to those of you who aren't in the know, that would be the mutant gunslinger known as cable. I'm a fan of a rob liefeld creation. i would say i own about 75 issues of the cable series. plus the whole run of soldier x, as well as all of the new issues of cable & deadpool. how do i justify liking something that for the most part is knee deep in mediocrity? It's not easy. but the only justification I can come up with is that I have a need to see mutant cyborgs carry big guns. There are many ways to see such a thing, but I've gone for the lowest common denominator. Liefeld. Cable has been a decent comic book character under some writers, but deep down I'll always know who created the character. I can buy grant morrison's the filth, I can buy as many indie and vertigo comics as I want, but deep down, part of me likes the foil covered era marvel crap fest. god damn, that's depressing.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

My first blog.

I don't know why I made a blog. I have at least three live journals. but here ya go. I'll most likely talk about comic books, movies, and music. Enjoy!